Journaling

Sept 23, 2017

Hey Everyone!

I know a while back I talked about my anxiety and then disappeared for a month. I am fine, I was/ still am very busy and at the time I thought “Somethings gotta give.” After a month I realized that it can’t be the blog- it has to be something I don’t like that I’m forcing myself to keep doing. So, I quit my job- 1 of them. I know it’s the same job I’ve been trying to quit for a while, only now I have an exact quit date and found people to replace me. I’m thrilled because now I can officially be done and gone before Mexico!

Anyways, the thing I said last time about my anxiety is that I am a writer. I love writing; it soothes me. Whenever I feel any kind of emotion- I write. It’s what I use to soothe my anxiety and get rid of feelings of failure, sadness, anger, but also it reminds me of the times I am happy! On bad days, I read about the good times and it makes me happier. Now I know everyone is different and it becomes tedious to some, or some people don’t get the same joy out of it and that’s fine! But, for anyone who thinks they’re a bad writer and can’t do it- you’re wrong! You can and also who cares! Over time you’ll get better if anyways. Also, I want to add that any form is fine. Personally, I like to physically write it out, but typing, or video blogs, etc work just the same!

So how did I get started on writing? When I was in grade 6, I got a book for Christmas. It was pink and flowery and surprisingly my favorite because I was such a tom boy. I was at my aunt and uncle’s farm in Saskatchewan, Canada and had the time of my life feeding all of the animals! I wanted to keep talking about it, bit I have told everyone! So- I took my fancy new sparkly gel pens and started a journal writing about all my best moments and experiences. Who knew that 13 years later I would still be journaling! Not only was I able to say anything I wanted, but its been a complete account for my life! Some good memories, , some bad- but my life for 13 years has been documented!

When I got to jr. high, I struggled with my anxiety and even started to self medicate. Journaling helped because when I would read back, I realized I hated what I was doing and it was one of the reasons I stopped.

Journaling has always given me a freedom to say what I want, when I want, without consequence. This is good! If I’m frustrated with someone or something, I can write it out and feel better without hurting anyone’s feelings or causing problems and I am able to let it go after. Sometimes I can go back and make a plan about what my next step is in an emotional situation. This way I can write out my frustrations and then make a rational rather than emotional reaction. It’s also just fun! I used to get journals for Christmas and I love buying them. I make a day out of it. I got to Chapters, buy new fancy pens, and a new pretty book, and go over to Starbucks, and start writing and drinking my fancy drinks.

I also just love reading my stuff from when I was a kid. I had some hilarious problems! From the boy crushes to the stories- hilarious. I also have memories from all of these trips I went on with my family! What’s funny too is that you can probably find every score for every single one of my brother’s hockey and soccer games! I LOVED going! It was one of my favorite things to do! As for my sister- her cheerleading and dance competitions were noted later on!

The new thing that’s out is bullet journaling- that looks so much fun! I never had the time to keep up with one, but I would love to start! Pinterest is definitely a great resource for starting! 

You’re never too young or old to journal. Society gives off this image of moody teenagers angrily writing and people breaking that person’s privacy by reading to check in. Here’s my opinion about that: 1. You don’t have to use it for just problems. It’s a good way to document your life. Don’t worry about age. It’s for anyone and it records the good and the bad times. I’ve written daily about trips, games, good books, quotes to live by, good memories, movies I loved. But I’ve also written about the bad times to help me out- now these problems seem like nothing! Especially guys! I’ve definitely looked back and been like wtf was I thinking- even about the most recent! 2. It can be as private or as public as you want it to be. I’m still going through my 20s. The years of crossroads, anxiety about the future, and confusion about me making the right choices. Currently, it’s private. But one day I want it to be public to maybe my future kids can learn about me!

So write! And let me know what you think!

-Erin xo